"I see you." Active Recognition

The following is taken from the Nurtured Heart Approach

So often, educators and parents focus on what is wrong, what needs to be fixed, and the negative actions our students and children take. Berating, nagging, correcting and moralizing takes place in our classrooms and homes in abundance. Instead, more attention should be given to the correct actions of our students and children.

“Active Recognition” is a method of taking a verbal snapshot of specific moments in our children’s life, where moments of success are being portrayed.

Active Recognition is a simple observation of the facts of what you see in front of you, like a “Kodak Moment”. This recognition sends messages to the recipient of “I’m worth being noticed.” and “I can do it because I am doing it.”

Starter sentences for Active Recognition statements:

“I see you (behavior).”

“I notice that you (behavior).”

“I hear you…”

“I observed that you..”

“Here is what I am seeing (action or emotions).”

Examples of Active Recognition Statements:

** Johnny, I see you have your book out and open to the page given in the instructions.

** Lila, I notice that you just took your shoes off as soon as you walked in the door.

** Jay, I hear that you are using a quiet voice, even though there is lots of noise happening around you.

** Tara, look at you! I could see, from across the room, that you just picked up the papers that fell on the floor, even though you seem to be a little upset and even though no one told you to help.

At first, practicing Active Recognition statements can feel a little superficial. It helps to write down the instances you see daily before you start verbalizing them. It helps to practice these statements with other family members and colleagues.

Once Active Recognition is mastered, one can learn about Blossoming Techniques, adding a character quality to the active recognition statements.