9. Reaching for Help

2/24/17

Later on that evening, Dr. Angela Price, the top neurosurgeon in Dallas explained all the different parts of the MRI Scans. Rtadhvaja Swami was there as well. We were in general, all a little more peaceful than the morning. The boys were laughing at his stories. At least there was a reason to everything happening, Vraju said.

However, my mind was a little bit gone. Intense heat still coursed through every single limb of my body. It never stopped for a minute. I left the hospital for the first time for a little break. I met up with dear friends and collapsed in their arms immediately. I asked my mother-in-law and sister-in-law, Mati and Kunji to please come. I called Gaura and asked her to please come as well. She would have to fly in from India all by herself - something she had never done. But I insisted. Even my brother Gopal said he would come. We needed our family, right now. We couldn’t do this alone.

I put up a more peaceful post that afternoon. I didn’t want our greater family and friends to worry so much. Everything was going to be okay.

We're just astounded by the outpouring of love from all of you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Today, we saw the MRI scans which were pretty freaky. But surgery is scheduled. We have an excellent team of doctors at Children's Hospital and the support of so many doctors.. Dr. Prashant Jani; Dr. Devika Rao; Dr Sivarajan; Dr. Lalita Mataji. The neurosurgeon spoke mainly to Vraju - all about exactly what will happen and his logical mind was totally comforted.

"No point worrying about anything now, Mommy. We'll just take it as it comes."

He's cracking jokes. He's on the phone with his long lost bestie Rakta, and he's on a cocktail of drugs that make him talkative and hilarious.

Of course the doctor of all doctors remains ever in charge. Carrying us through every step. Everything will be okay. Thank you.

My girlfriends organized a Meal Train from the community so we had prasadam. Even if we didn’t eat it all, the gesture helped. Messages of love also poured in. When there were empty moments, we read them out loud. Things became peaceful, as peaceful as could be in this situation. It had only been four days.

Lessons Learned: It is okay to demand help from your friends and family at this time. Try not to go it alone. It is okay to lean on those you love and need. Yes, it is an inconvenience - but these are trying times and a little bit of love will help you heal in the long run. Traumatic events like these stay with you for many years. They stay lodged deep in the psyche. It is okay to buffer the trauma with lots of love around you. It is not only okay, it is a must. Be vulnerable. Ask your family to come be with you. You need them.