The Lord of Boundaries

Two little boys are upset. Joe is angry because quiet Kevin won't play with him. Knowing the back story, I say, "Kevin, it's okay to share why you won't play with him."

Kevin says, "When you yell at me, it makes me feel sad and scared." Hearing this, Joe repeats and accepts Kevin's feelings. Unexpectedly, Kevin grabs Joe's hand, running to play again. He has learned that relationships can become stronger when boundaries are communicated and accepted.

Last weekend, we held two teacher training workshops and a large parenting workshop in Silicon Valley, CA. Boundaries was the theme. We think that if we say what we need, our relationships will suffer. But the opposite is true -- boundaries means self-care! The sessions were eye opening.

My friend Volodymyr Yefimov (aka Premasindhu Das) was an Olympic fencing coach. During tournaments, he would instruct students quietly, even from 50 yards away. In the middle of a large tournament with other coaches yelling, his students heard him every time.

A parent with inherent boundaries will never need to yell. A teacher with boundaries will not need time outs. A manager with boundaries will not need to nag their employees. All will command respect, because they respect themselves as equally as they respect their teams and dependants.

This week, Dr. S. Sharma from Ohio shared an incredible success, "Before Leadership Parenting, my teen and I were at odds with each other. Within two sessions, I'm surprised that my 15-yr-old has gone from one word answers to wanting to share about her day and spend time with me!"

It's that fast!

This week, we celebrate Sri Krishna's older brother, Lord Balaram's appearance. With His firm refusal to accept disrespect, He shows the importance of boundaries. In Leadership Parenting, He guides leaders in developing their resilience and boundaried spaces. We call for His spiritual strength through special mantras and we witness Him strengthening us.

Dear leader, parent, educator, what you do is important. Your needs are spiritually accepted.

But, do you accept your needs? In the name of humility, what are you tolerating that you shouldn't be? What are you checked out about because no one will care? What makes you yell because it's been tolerated too long?

With respect and love, tell them what you want. And what you don't want. With your boundary, they will feel safe. And they will follow your lead. If they don't accept, hear their needs too. Find a win-win-win solution.

Your boundary is your self care. Your boundary is their self care. Lord Balaram will help you.

The Lord of Boundaries

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